What...nobody procreates anymore?

So finally my sister and I got some sisterly time on Monday. We both needed some clothes so we went to Woodfield Mall...which is about 30-45 min away. While there are malls closer to us, this mall is different. It is a multi-level mall full of all the stores of your... well at least of my dreams. Anyway, I assumed that this mall would have clothes for both my sister and I. However, no such luck. Apparently the world no longer has need for maternity clothes. This particular super mall originally had 3 or 4 maternity stores in it, however now has none. Zip. Zero. I was so upset. All the stores that I assumed would have a maternity section didn't. Basically no one is making babies anymore. I mean where are all the pregnant women shopping? One woman told me that my best bet would be to buy clothes online. Online?! I don't want to shop online. This is a new body that I have never shopped for before, and I would like to be able to try things on. Besides, it totally takes away the fun part of shopping.
I can just see it now...my sister and I both bring our laptops to the dinning room table and surf the Internet. Then when we wanted each other's opinions, we could just turn our computers around. This would just take all the fun out of shopping...at least for me.
At any rate, I have decided I feel a little discriminated against, I mean excuse me for continuing the human race...geezz! So I have found a few stores around my house, and I have been forced to search online. I will for sure be holding on to my maternity clothes, just in case they completely eliminate maternity stores when we have our next kid.

Bradley Birthing Class

I am officially 6 months pregnant! It's pretty exciting to almost be in my third and final trimester. Seeing as we are coming in on the final inning, we have started taking our child birthing class. We have done a lot of research and have decided to try and go toward natural childbirth, and have also found that the Bradley Method is the best choice for us.

Our first class was last week and we had so much fun. The Bradley Method is a helpful method to help handle the pain of childbearing...drug free. A lot of people don't realize how unsafe drugs are for both mommy and baby. Giving birth (no matter how painful) is natural and society today treats it more as procedure. I am reading a book called Active Birth by Janet Balaskas. I just read about the different types of drugs that are typically used during labor and the effects they can have on mommy and baby. It's truly shocking.

Here is an excerpt about the side effects of an epidural

" The long term effects on the baby's neurological development are relatively unknown and direly under-researched, despite the widespread use of this form of pain relief worldwide. Side effects for mother, such as severe headaches following the birth, can occasionally occur (these are caused by accidental penetration of the membrane surrounding the spinal cord by the injection needle). And epidural certainly increases the need for obstetric intervention. Labor is often much longer...an epidural can contribute to a lessening of the blood supply to and from the uterus, so fetal distress is far more likely...an epidural can also inhibit the mother's ability to push her baby out spontaneously, and, in one way or another,increase the risk of forceps delivery, a vacuum extraction, or a cesarean. If an epidural is done wrong, the mother can become paralyzed permanently"

One thing I am not going to guarentee that its not going to hurt and that I wont desperately want drugs, but I am going to try my hardest to get this baby out safely as possible. Its not about if I'm in pain or not, its about getting our little girl here. So the Bradley Method teaches techniques on how to maintain control in the delivery room, how to have the best birthing experience possible, and it teaches different positions and breathing techniques to help with chld birth. It's all very empowering, and little by little I am beginning to believe that I can do this.

Chicago

Well its official we are in Chicago. It's been a week in The Windy City, and so far so good. It was sad saying goodbye. And it was hard seeing Erik pout a little bit as we pulled out of our Colorado parking lot. However once we were on the road it got better. My sister and her husband came and drove with us. It was fun and loud and I think by the end of the trip Erik felt even more apart of my family.
My parents recieved us with open arms. I'm sure we looked pretty pathetic after driving for 17 hours. After Erik and I slept for 12 hours we got up the next day and started unpacking. Until we find our new place we are stayin with my parents. Its so nice, my parents have made my old room into a new studio apartment for us! It has been nice to have my parents around.
Erik started work again, I have barely seen him in 3 days. He has been working late and I am usually asleep when he gets home. However it sounds like he's having fun. I can't wait to have a date with him.
The baby seems to be kicking more and more these days. I officially have a real belly. I look really weird naked, but everyone keeps telling me I have a glow...I don't see it.
At any rate, we are still getting used to being in the big city. It' still weird being here. There are so many people and so much traffic. It's a little overwhelming. It doesnt feel like home just yet, but we're working on it.

Ode To Erik

I am so bad at writing on this thing...especially lately. I have had a lot things going on, especially with moving. I have forgotten how much I hate moving! It has been especially difficult because of the whole having a baby thing. I am so tired, or my hips hurt, or I don't feel like it.
Thank God Erik has taken two weeks off of work. It has been so nice to have him here. He has been such a blessing, he helps with cooking, cleaning, and packing. And best of all we get to spend time together. We have been watching movies together, cooking together, and just getting a lot of time to talk and catch up. The past few months Erik has been working a lot and it has been really difficult. But now he is home! Erik has totally been my hero. I know that he is going to be a big help once this baby comes. Seriously God, good job on picking out Erik for me, he is amazing!

The Ultrasound

So far pregnancy hasn’t really been my favorite thing I’ve ever done. I constantly have gas, indigestion abdominal cramps, migraines, breast pain, bloating, chronic mood swings, joint pain, severe fatigue, nausea and vomiting, as well as the new realization that I have the smallest bladder on the planet! I mean pretty much any ideas I had of enjoying this are out the window. And as everyone keeps reminding me, pregnancy is the easy part. Up until yesterday every time I heard that I would begin to get nervous. I mean if I can’t handle these symptoms, what kind of mother would I be? I have been going back and forth on this. I am so nervous to be a mom. Its also hard to feel warm and gushy feelings when your baby is constantly making you sick! This is where my mind was at until yesterday…

Yesterday I was feeling severe abdominal cramps and back pain. I tried everything I could to get them to go away, but nothing worked. So I finally called the doctor after-hours hotline, and they told me to go to the hospital. I tried to argue, but it was no use I knew I had to go. I hate going to the hospital ( I know, I know, no one likes going to the hospital). For me, while I’m there I start to feel guilty, like my ailment isn’t that bad compared to a gunshot wound, a woman in labor, a little kid with a fever, or even a broken arm. So basically I kept down playing my pain, Erik read through it, and within 20 min I was on my way to the hospital.

When we arrived the doctor immediately began testing. Quickly the doctor asked if we had ever had an ultrasound. Erik and I exchanged a quick glance, and trying to hide my excitement (I’m supposed to be in pain, remember?) I said no. And we were off to ultrasound! Once the gross cold goop was on my belly, I was immediately captured by the black and white screen on my right. There on the screen, was my little baby. For the first time I got to see the new light of my life. My heart started racing and I was holding my breath as the screen showed the baby’s tiny fingers, tummy, heart, tiny face and legs. I got to see the baby moving around and kicking me (even though I couldn’t feel it). It was by far one of the most exciting moments of my life. The ultrasound tech spoke. Breaking me out of my dreamland, she said, “do you want to know the gender?” For some reason I wasn’t expecting this. I mean we have an appointment for the official ultrasound in 3 weeks. That is when I was prepared to find out…In unison Erik and I both said “YES!!” And the tech moved her magic wand around on my stomach a little bit and said, “Congratulations you’re having a girl!.” A girl!! A girl!! Can you believe it?

And as the tears were streaming down my cheeks, I had a change of heart. I can do this. I can raise this little girl. In that moment, I knew I would do anything for her. I suddenly forgot about how sick I’ve been and just finally thought about our little girl. None of this is about me. Its about her. Its about getting to see her grow up, helping raising a good woman, watching her live out her dreams. Its about being blessed enough to be apart of the journey she’s going to go on. I feel like the luckiest woman in the world. I know that I will have my moments of doubt, sheer terror, and mistakes, but I’m ready. I’m ready for it all…

Babies R Us...

Our time is coming to a close here in Colorado. It’s a bittersweet feeling…I mean on one hand I am so excited to go home and be with my friends and family. I am excited to be back in a place that Erik and I were so happy in. At the same time, I’m not ready to leave yet. This has been such a good growing experience for us. We have truly enjoyed our time here with Erik’s family and friends. So we both are feeling a little sad. However before we go one of Erik’s family friends have offered to throw us a baby shower! I was so elated I immediately started on my registry. When I was imagining what making a registry would be like, I imagined simplicity, cute tiny clothes…kind of a no stress situation. What I got was something completely different.

I realize that babies require a lot of things and I thought I was ready for that but maybe not…In actuality they need more things than I thought. I mean I was looking at things I didn’t even know existed for a baby. At first I tried doing it on my own. I was so overwhelmed by all the choices and all the decisions I needed to make right then. I mean I have never in my life had to have so much conversation about breast feeding. I was talking to the lady in the store, I called my mom and my sister, and finally had to call my best friend (who has a baby of her own and is expecting her second child). I really don’t want to think about breast pads, breast pumps, bottle sizes, etc. Babies R Us is soo overwhelming for a first time mommy. I mean wow…what is all that stuff. I literally needed a tour guide. I mean how do you know if the bottles you picked are the best? How do you for sure that the diaper bag you picked is going to be big enough? How do I know the stroller will be comfortable enough for the baby? And how do I know if I’m just picking out stuff they tell me I need, but actually its just a way for me to spend more money? I have never had to think so much while shopping in my life!

I finally had to give up doing it on my own, and I brought in reinforcements. My best friend came in to save the day. So she went with me through each aisle and explained the thousands of options I had. She was honest about what you use during your baby’s first year and what you don’t. I had a few times of panic but by the end of the day I was actually having fun. I learned so much, it was wonderful. Then I got to go over the list with Erik and share my new knowledge with him. I really like the things I picked out and so does Erik.

And so I’m excited to announce that we officially have a baby registry!

2nd Trimester

I am officially 2 weeks into my second trimester! This was supposed to be a trimester of hope, a trimester of new-found energy, a trimester where I don't want to throw up every time people mention food. However, no such luck thus far. My second trimester feels identical to the first. I am still beyond tired, I constantly feel like I am on a sleeping pill, (Part of me is wondering if Erik is drugging my food : ) ), I still am getting really bad headaches all day everyday, and to make matters worse I have dry mouth like I drank the Sahara Desert.

But even though I still feel like crap, I am finally getting a belly to show for it all! My pants don't fit, and I have a little pooch that sticks out in my shirt. Erik thinks that its super cute, I think it kind of looks like I had a really big meal! But it is sooo exciting to know there is a baby in there and that this week it is the size of a softball! How far our baby has come.

I have officially made the ultrasound appointment. On Feb 19th we will know if we are having a boy or a girl! Most of our friends and family think that we are having a boy. To be honest Erik and I don't care what it is as long as its healthy!

Another up side to this trimester is the cravings have started to set in. This week I have craved and successfully kept down the following: buffalo shrimp (extra hot ), a potato burrito, brownies, spaghetti o's, 1 gallon of lemon aid, a jar of green olives, 4 grape fruit, mint chocolate chip ice cream, and enough grilled cheese to last a life time. Looking at this list is currently making me sick, but at the time each and every item was beyond good!

I still have hope that I will start to feel better soon. Cause at this point I feel like I am sleeping my life away...