I never understood why my parents were always concerned about me. I mean even as an adult when I visit their house, they like me to call when I get home...just to be sure I was murdered on the way home. I usually get annoyed and roll my eyes. I mean I am an adult and they are always worried about what I'm doing. I couldn't stand that...until Eliana.
Now having Eliana, I worry constantly. I mean I sometimes even cry if she is crying. I know I know...I'm going to have to get over that. I know that I can't protect her from everything but I really really want to.
This week Eliana broke out in a rash. She was rubbing her face on everything to soothe her itchy skin. It began on her face and then spread quickly to the rest of her body. I was a mess. I mean I cried multiple times, mostly because I felt so helpless. I called her pediatrician and they told me to come in. Before Ellie and I went to the doctor, Erik said he thought it looked like eczema. I immediately felt worse. Partly because I knew that he was right (before Ellie was born I read that she may have eczema because Erik has it, and because I have asthma and hay fever), and partly because I knew how awful eczema could be. I didn't want her to suffer with this for the rest of her life. I was praying the whole way to doctor's office that it wasn't eczema...of course it was. So now Ellie is on a different skincare regimen than before. Hopefully things will get better.
I'm still worried about her, because I love her so much. She is trusting me to take care of her, she is depending on me,and it just hurts when things out of my control happen to her. However, I know I need to trust in God. I know that when things seem out of control and crazy, He is in control. I just need to have faith. I'm going to need a lot of prayer to stop me from being a worry wart.